Majestic Peace

There's an event I want to attend in the near future. It's been written in my calendar for weeks. The date is approaching. Why do I find myself waffling on this seemingly simple decision now?

It falls on a Friday evening. The launch of the weekend for my sweet family. Currently not a time to relax, but an opportunity to work longer hours. Still weekends contain our limited family time. Should I slip away to secure my oxygen mask, to join friends for a night of needed laughter?

We are wading into a difficult season and I fear this is only the preface before many new chapters. I agree with Husband. I feel and see the support of our dearest friends and family. I see God moving & providing. But here in the midst of the emotional chaos, my Redeemer looks different. Steady & sure, but not sweeping and blindingly glorious. No trumpets blaring announcing His arrival. Just a calm. My heart desires for my Savior to be overwhelming and majestic in His care for me. I long for the comfort of His biggness enveloping my frailty.

Perhaps, if I'm still long enough, I'll recognize Him in the Overwhelming Silence and Majestic Peace of this season.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Phil. 4.7

Dinner with the Father

I’m committed to ‘rejoice in the Lord always’, in the midst of the chaos. I want to share with you what we experienced just yesterday afternoon.

First, while opening a new checking account for oldest daughter, our new bank has a ‘buy back’ program where they purchase from you all your old check pads and debit card from your former bank. In the end, 15 unexpected dollars was deposited into her new account. $15 is quite a bit to a sixteen year old.

Then, my sweet neighbor, whose husband works for a local television station, gave us tickets to see the Shriner’s Circus this Friday night. This gift has many layers that I’ll be unpacking for days. My little people don’t remember ever seeing a circus, dancing daughter loves the circus and my daddy was a Shriner Clown. This is not only a treat for my children, but it’s a happy for my own heart. I think God’s work of redeeming and restoring is daily and eternal.

And we ended the day with this episode. D has been asking for a chicken sandwich for days. He’s really been missing college brother lately and they used to go to Zaxby’s together on ‘brother man dates’. I know I don’t have the extra money right now for eating out. I do keep a box of loose change in my car & I planned on getting D and Mimi a ½ price drink at Sonic while driving dancing daughter to class. It just so happened that my little people didn’t ride with me, they played at my neighbor’s house. I was thinking, ‘Whew, they’ll forget about our Sonic drinks and I just saved $2’.
An hour later, Husband , Mimi and I take D to soccer practice, then we decide that we can find a few dollars and get them a burger & chicken sandwich for dinner between soccer and picking up Sara at dance. So at 7 o’clock we pull into Sonic and Rob begins ordering. A route 44 Sprite we can all share, a hamburger with no pickles for Mimi (her favorite), a chicken sandwich from the dollar menu for D, and a large fry for them to share. The Sonic guy laughs with Husband while taking our order and says he appreciates Husband’s thinking & says he’ll do us a favor and personally deliver our food to us. While we’re waiting, we being counting out quarters from my change box and dollars in Husband’s wallet and our Sonic guy comes out carrying the tray of food in the air like a pizza man. As he hands Husband the food, he says dinner’s on him tonight. We were speechless! This longwinded family was without words. Not because of this strangers kindness, but because of God’s provision. God bought a chicken sandwich for my baby boy and served my Mimi her favorite Sonic hamburger with no pickles! The God of the universe knew the desire of a 5 year olds heart and his love of French fries & God, their Heavenly Father, paid what I could not.

He does hover over us. I caught a glimpse of Him last night. I tasted His goodness. Five of my family in a leaky suburban ate dinner at His table last night.

As Husband finished off D’s mangled leftovers, he referred to it as his ‘manna and quail’. I really hope he wasn’t insinuating we’d be in this place for the next 40 years…

We love you all dearly. Be encouraged. We are.

“Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You.” ~Psalm 63.3

Return

I really don't want to ride this again. The daily quest for peace and paycheck. I've been here before. I didn't choose to return, but here I am, navigating through the fog of fear and dread.

I've camped out in Matthew for weeks.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~ Matthew 11:28-30.

First, because I was apprehensive to dive back into homeschooling. It's been a few years since I had to read every word of instruction to a young child. My sweet boy that loves to ride his bike and climb trees, not sit holding his pencil the correct way. Five weeks into this venture and I've watched God school us in the living room every morning. It is an amazing site. I am so grateful.

Now I wonder if the Spirit led me to these few words for this unfolding season of financial uncertainty and faith stretching.

His provision is unconventional. His love immeasurable. His pursuit of my heart unrelenting.

"Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You." ~ Psalm 63.3